L’s World

{March 2, 2008}   Fight


It’s a miracle. I woke up early today. I already finished my errands and is about to eat – if I decide I want to eat with my boyfriend. He cooked breakfast/lunch for us.After waking up at 8:30 A.M., we went to Valero and bought money order to be sent as payment for our purchase in California. We proceeded to the post office at Panther Creek. We were confused on how to go about sending a priority mail via USPS. We are used to sending parcels via private companies like Fedex and UPS. They just pick up the mail or we bring them in their branch and voila, they do everything for you. As for the USPS, we had to use the Automated Postage Machine, paid by credit card, place the envelope inside the priority mail envelope and drop it in the meter machine. I forgot to bring a pen so we ended up borrowing an old man’s pen. Our errands did not stop there. We went to Walmart and bought some veggies because Ate Mae is cooking nilaga for dinner. We also bought some seedless green grapes and strawberries – I just hope they’re sweet. When we were in the car heading back home, I asked my bf if he loves me. I always do that. He said “not right now while I’m driving.” I did not like how that sounded. So I said, “oh, so you have a switch for loving me.” He said “not like that. I’m not like you who loves me 24/7. I can’t do that. I’m not showy.”im
I got angry. I do not expect him to give me kisses and hugd 24/7. I do not require him to be always by my side 24/7. I believe that if you love someone you will love him/her 24/7. It will never disappear. It is always in your heart. There is no switch for love. You can’t love and then not love all in one day.

When we got home, I told him I’m not eating. Then here I am writing my heartache away.

I don’t care if I’m hungry and my stomach’s acids are surging. I am really angry and this is my way of showing him I’m pissed – hunger strike.

Fights are inevitable but it would be great and better if there are no fights. I don’t like fights. It sucks out the life in me. I feel so drained and empty whenever we fight.

I hate him right now. So, there goes my switch!


{March 2, 2008}   Center of the Universe


An ex-boyfriend once told me… “You think you are the center of the universe. You think the world revolves around you. You think it’s always about you. It’s not always about you.”

{March 2, 2008}   Pancit-Pancitan

pancit bijon

We had pancit for dinner. Well, my sister-in-law haven’t had pancit for years so I decided to exert some effort and make her some.
They had all the ingredients in the pantry and she even bought the Philippine bijon so I had no problem.
It was a lot more effort than I imagined. I had to boil the chicken breasts and shred it with my hands. The preparation and cooking took like 2 1/2 hours. Whew!
But it was all worth it. Everyone liked my pancit and they are requesting me to cook it again. They went to the grocery and bought the ingredients that I need.
That’s the problem when you cook good food – they always ask you to cook. 🙂
It was the same when I was in the Philippines – even when I was in college or back at home. People knew that I make good pancit so they ask me to cook pancit. That’s what they serve for snacks or at parties.
I make good pancit – that’s it!

 Pancit Recipe:


  • 1 lb boneless skinless chicken breasts or boneless skinless chicken thighs
  • 1 lb lean pork , fat trimmed
  • 1 lb small shrimp , shelled
  • 3 cloves garlic , minced
  • 1 small onion , thinly sliced
  • 1/2 Chinese cabbage , thinly sliced
  • 3 carrots , julienned
  • 1/4 cup sesame oil or vegetable oil (may be substituted)
  • 3 tablespoons soy sauce
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon pepper
  • 1 lb rice noodles (or bean threads)


    1. Start by soaking rice stick noodles in warm water for 15 minutes or until softened, then drain.
    2. Bring chicken, pork and 1-1/2 cups water to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer 15 minutes.
    3. Remove from heat; shred the meat into small pieces- reserve the water.
    4. (A sturdy mixer such as a Kitchen Aid can be handy in shredding meat using the whisk attachment).
    5. Heat oil in a large, wide saute pan.
    6. Saute garlic and onion in oil until onion is translucent.
    7. Add shredded meat, shrimp and soy sauce and stir-fry 5 minutes.
    8. Over high heat, add cabbage, carrots, salt, pepper and 1 cup of broth.
    9. Stir fry for an additional 2 minutes.
    10. Reduce heat to low and add rice noodles, tossing gently (wooden spoons work best) until cooked through and well blended, approximately 3 minutes.
    11. If the mixture seems dry, add more broth.
    12. Serve immediately with soy sauce and calamansi.

    Feb 21 08

    {March 2, 2008}   Trust


     I cried from 5:00 PM to 6:30 PM today. It was because of my sister-in-law-to-be’s words. Our household who is composed of Ate Mae, her gf Katherine, my bf and I decided to have catfish and fried-shrimp butterflies for dinner. My bf, TJ will be the one to cook.

    When I woke up at 1:00 PM, I took the catfish out from the freezer so it can thaw. I saw that the shrimps were already out – and unfrozen. I’ve decided to take a shower. After taking a shower, I went downstairs and took the dried dishes to their proper place. Then Katherine arrived at 2:30 PM. She went to their room and took a nap.

    Charmed was showing on TV. I watched Charmed while eating potato chips and coca cola. After 2 episodes, TJ got home. He decided to start on the shrips. He peeled them off and deveined them – he showed me how to do it since I do not know how to devein shrimps. After showing me how to do it with 2 shrimps, I’ve decided to play Pet Salon on the pc.A pc was connected to the plasma TV we have so I can play/surf the internet with the big plasma screen as my monitor. It was cool.

    Ate Mae arrived at 4:30 PM. She saw TJ preparing the shrimps by himself. She asked why was TJ doing it all alone. I told him that he already showed me how and that TJ wanted to prepare the shrimps himself. After preparing the shrimps, TJ saw that the catfish were still frozen in the vacuum sealed pack. Ate Mae asked what time we got it out. I told her around 1 PM. She said that is impossible because it’s still frozen. She kept yakking out “i-can’t-do-everything-in-this-house”. I told her that I really took it out at 1 PM before taking a shower. I even told her that those things were already on the sink when Katherine arrived at 2:30 PM. She did not listen. She kept on talking and yakking. Then she said “I’m in a bad mood.” She went out of the house to smoke.

    That was it… I turned the TV and pc off. I told TJ that I am going in our room.

    As soon as the door closed, my tears came falling. It was like a flash flood. I can’t stop the tears from falling.

    I opened the laptop and logged-in at friendster. I’ve decided to stay at my brother’s place in Seattle. So I messaged my brother. My message said: 
                              Kuya, can I stay at your place ASAP? I don’t want to stay here anymore. I am tired and I am slowly dying.
    I know that will make my brother panicky. My brother kept telling me to stay with him at Seattle because we’re family – that I don’t have to stay with my bf’s family – that I do not have to keep up with other people and suffer. I did not listen to him. I followed my heart. Now, I am beaten and bruised.

    TJ followed me and saw me writing my brother. He hugged me and said to let it go. I told him I can’t. It’s too hard to let it go. I told my bf that I asked my brother if I can stay with him and if he said yes, nothing my bf can do or say will make me stay. TJ said it was unfair.

    I know it was unfair. I could endure other pain of problems but an indirect saying that one does not trust me/believe me, I cannot take. I told him that I did not decide to stay with him just to put-up with his sister or with his family. I said his family is despicable. I have not met any worse than his family.

    TJ asked me to be patient and give him some more time. He said we will move out of the house by March. I told him that I cannot wait and endure that long. I cannot stay without dying even just for another day. I asked him to pity me and have mercy on me.

    It was not that I don’t love TJ. It’s just that I can’t stand his family. He said I was unfair. I told him I knew I am but I don’t care anymore.

    TJ had to go back in the kitchen to finish cooking. I stayed in the room. I told him I will not go down to eat – and I do not want to see his sister. TJ understood.

    After 3 nminutes, I heard a knock on the door. It was Ate Mae. She asked if I was alright and if we can talk. I told her I am fine and we can talk.

    She said she was wrong for not believing me and apologized for it. It was just her experience that catfish won’t be frozen that long. She thought I lied to her and she did not want to be lied to.

    I told her I am sorry for being sensitive. I just did not want people to indirectly imply that I was lying. I felt bad because I know I told the truth but she did not believe me.

    She said she was sorry for not trusting me that moment.

    I told her, “you must trust people more often… it’s a nice feeling not to be so wary all the time.”

    Then we hugged. We’ve decided to bury it and forget about it.

    What I’ve learned from today’s encounter is that it’s nice if we hear people give them the benefit of a doubt. If you know a lot of people who have lied to you, it doesn’t mean all will. It is true that you may be deceived if you trust too much but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough. If you are all the time thinking that everyone is lying and if you mistrust all the time, every waking moment of your life will be sad. You will not be able to sleep peacefully at night coz you may think that your partner or someone else is plotting against you right at that very moment.

    According to Samuel Johnson,  “it is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.”  It is okay to give other people a chance – a chance to show that they can be trusted. But not giving anyone a chance at all, that is torture to yourself.I believe what Walter Anderson said — that we’re never vulnerable when we trust someone but if we cannot trust, we can never find love and joy.

    Trust is the basic ingredient to all types of connections and relationships. You must trust and believe in people or life becomes impossible. It is impossible to go through life without trust — that is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself.

    Feb 23 08

    {March 2, 2008}   Forbidden Love

    forbidden 2Hanyesul

    I just finished watching one Korean Drama series – Forbidden Love.  It is a tragedy so I ended up feeling sad. But the plot was fine. It is not a cheesy love story.Shi Yeon is a Nine-Tailed Fox living undercover in the human world. By day, Shi Yeon is an employee at a natural history museum. By night, she’s a top-ranking woman warrior in the Nine-Tailed Fox clan, charged with preserving the delicate balance between man and fox.

    Her world is sent spinning when an atrocious serial murder – where the victims have had their internal organs gouged out – is uncovered.

    Detective Min Woo believes the murders may relate to the organ trafficking trade, and goes undercover in a seedy organ smuggling ring. Min Woo’s cover is blown, and it’s only through the intervention Nine-Tailed Fox warrior Mu Young and Shi Yeon that he’s able to survive!

    But he’s seen their true identities as Nine-Tailed Foxes…

    Chae (another fox warrior) loves Mu Young who loves Shi Yeon who loves Min Woo. It’s really a roller-coaster with all the twists and turns in the plot. I was also surprised to find out that Mu Young’s mother was the culprit.

    If you want to watch the whole series, it is available in video streaming at crunchyroll.com.

    et cetera